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Monthly Archives: June 2012

Dawn Breaks After The Darkest Hour

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Last week Wednesday, the 21st of June, was the longest night of the year.

Painful situations or times of struggle are often referred to as dark nights. During recent weeks I have had some very, very, very long and very very dark nights.

When one goes through a ‘dark night of the soul’ time it is so difficult to keep your head up and actually see ahead of you, let alone be grateful for the light of life. Recently I have found myself in this place, where I have just felt so bogged down, disappointed and even despairing. I eventually thought even God was out there to get me.

Even though I have endured much pain the promise of morning is there. God has promised me that he uses everything for my good, even the night times and boy oh boy am I clinging to that promise.

Night time is the time when we do our resting, our rejuvenating.  So when better for the enemy to attack us at night when we are at rest and unsuspecting. My hijack was literally at night, a Friday night to be more specific.

When I actually took a step back and realised, hang on, you actually need to stop moping, groaning and being ungrateful and be JOYFUL in this time! Yes, joyful! It was the LAST thing I felt like doing.  When you are in that place, the morning seems SO far away.

There’s a line in the song ‘Shake it Out’ by Florence and the Machine, ‘It’s always darkest before the dawn.’

How very true!! The moment just before breakthrough, just before the sun starts to show its first glimmers of light, it is the darkest! Just like when a woman is in labour, the moment just before the baby is born is the most painful moment. So I am reminding myself to not give up before my morning arrives. Morning is dawning people! Wooohoooooo!! It’s so tough to see that when you are alone and afraid at midnight, but it’s a promise (and God is not a man that he should lie.)

Tree 63 sing a song called, ‘Alright’ that also speaks of this,

‘Though Darkness overcomes you now
Morning will break through somehow
It’s all going to be alright – It’s all going to be alright
Even this will pass – Tomorrow comes at last
It’s all going to be alright – It’s all going to be alright’
Sow in tears and reap with songs of joy
No sorrow lasts forever
It’s true yeah- It’s true yeah ‘

I don’t know about you, but this is very reassuring for me, to know that the ‘darkness’ of pain is not permanent and that our heavenly father is not only there with us through the pain, but he will also help us come out at the end of it, our morning.

Many could look at the pain I and others have endured and say how could God let that happen to you… I believe he did, he has given man the freedom of choice, and those men chose to harm me, but God promises to use it for my good. (Romans 8:28)

To correlate this with the night metaphor, the darkness of my night will make the morning light even brighter.

The learning in this for me, is to remember to not only be joyful when things are easy, but to remain hopeful in the difficult times. Lift that head up high and see the shining light of the night stars.

I look forward to experiencing and sharing stories of my morning light and new beginnings with you!




The Master Artist

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A couple of nights ago whilst unable to fall asleep, a million things whizzed through my mind so a very bright-eyed and bushy-tailed me picked up a book that a dear friend had given to me. ‘Come Away My Beloved’ by Frances J. Roberts. I just knew I had to share what I read. It was so beautifully impactful and poignant.
The story was called, ‘The Master Artist’

Set thy gaze towards heaven. Lo, thine eyes shall behold My glory. For I have brought thee through the testing time, and My heart rejoiceth over thee. Thou seest but part of the picture, but I see the design in it´s completion. Thou canst not know what is in my mind and what I am creating with the materials of thy life. Only be thou yielded in My hands. Thou needest not make thine own plans, for I am in control, and thou wouldst bring disaster by interference, even as a child who would wish to help a master artist, and with untrained use of the brush would ruin the canvas. So rest thy soul, this knowing, that I have been at work, and in ways thou has least expected; for the picture in thy thinking and the work with which I was engaged were entirely different. I make no idle strokes. What I do is never haphazard. I am never merely mixing colors out of casual curiosity. My every move is one of vital creativity, and every stroke is part of the whole. Never be dismayed by apparent incongruity. Never be alarmed by a sudden dash of color seemingly out of context. Say only to thy questioning heart, “It is the Infinite wielding His brush; surely He doeth all things well.” And in all that He does with a free hand, without interference, He can stand back and view the work and say. “It is good.”

This was just what my heart needed to hear. That even though I only see in part, God is in control of the bigger picture.  May this be a reminder to you too, that the artist who painted the milky way into completion and the fine seed in a rose bud is the same artist who is painting your life story.

From our broken and unfinished pieces comes forth a masterpiece at the hand of the Master Artist
I also like the metaphor that life is like a blank canvas.. I can imagine taking all the brightest most vibrant colours and just splashing them onto my canvas… maybe with a dash of glitter too?!

I hope that my canvas will one day be a piece of art admired my many and used to Glorify God.

Love, Cayly

Are you Drive-through or Designer Dining?

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Today’s post comes from a metaphor I thought of to help some of my friends through some rough patches. Quite often I have a heart-broken and unhappy face staring at me for answers. Often I don’t have them, and every now and then a genius metaphor comes to mind…
This particular metaphor has put a lot of things in perspective for me and quite a few of my friends. It goes something like this. ‘Are you Drive-Through or are you Designer Dining?’

I have noticed that so many of my beautiful and talented friends who are lovely and have high standards get so bashed down. They don’t know why guys don’t notice them or pursue them or put in the extra effort required when the going gets tough.  Then you see those same guys pursuing easy sleazy cheesy relationships instead. (This works both ways – so not just for men)

If being in a relationship with you is like having fine and designer dining (such as at the divine Ginger restaurant here in PE) you offer a classy experience, a well prepared and individually cooked meal, and a great atmosphere…but it is expensive and requires more commitment from your partner.

Juxtapose that against the McDonald’s around the corner. You can literally drive up to the window, demand what you want, slap the money on the counter, and within 3 minutes you get what you want……

See where I am going here?
The drive through type of relationship doesn’t require much of you or of your partner, but it fills one temporarily, yet leaves you feeling unsatisfied and prone to long-term health problems if you persist in eating this way.

So if we look at these two examples, what are you and what are you looking for?
If you are a Ginger type, and have McDonald’s knocking at your door, do you lower your standards and change the menu? HECK NO!! Should someone who is looking for a meaningful long-term dining experience go to a drive through? NO WAYS!!!
Don’t get despondent if someone has turned up their nose at the cost of a fine dining relationship with you, they obviously don’t have good taste. (no pun intended)

If you are wanting to find someone looking for a fine dining experience you need to look at what sort of a ‘menu’ and dining ‘experience’ you are putting out there.

Does a partner have to ‘make a reservation’ and agree to the fact that ‘right of admission is reserved’, or do you have bright neon lights pointing in your direction but then get despondent when the wrong type of person walks in?

Are you feeling despondent that no one is seeing your worth right now?
Hang on, don’t lose hope, or give in to speedy easy peasy drive through expectations!

I really encourage you to be the Designer Dining type. There are those who will do what ever it takes to enjoy your fine dining experience.

Just some ‘food’ for thought.
A proud ‘Ginger’

The Art Of Overcoming

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This past weekend has been a rough one, with extreme highs and extreme lows. I love being creative and find doing something arty so therapeutic. I see a psychologist once a month since the attack (initially once a week) and she has encouraged me to be creative as a form of relaxation. I find writing this blog to be quite therapeutic too. Thanks:)
Today I took some time to be creative and reflect on this last weekend. I have such incredible friends who have prayed me through the toughest of times.

Last year was a particularly difficult year. I lost my dog, my boyfriend and our home all in a short space of time. Ever since then I have been showered with prophetic words, kind gifts and loving words and scriptures spoken over me. I decided today to take some of these things and be creative with them. I framed some of the prophecies and verses I have been given, to honour them and to remind myself of what God thinks of me.

Yay for redefining, newness and rising to new places.
I am so looking forward to the exciting adventures God has in store for me, and looking at these words is just a reminder.
This is how I have found comfort in a difficult situation.  It may inspire you to be creative and find hope in the midst of things.



Scars, Hugs and Coffee

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Scars, Hugs and Coffee

I am pretty sure that Gary Chapman, the author of The Five Love Languages, missed out on a sixth love language – ‘ Drinking Coffee!’ For me, there’s something so special about sitting across the table from someone, savouring a cup of java and ‘connecting’. I am a sucker for good conversation, so I feel so blessed when I am taken out for coffee, or when I in turn get to take someone for a coffee.  Even having someone make me a cup of coffee within my own home, makes me feel blessed (my mom provides lots of beverage blessings!).

Today I was reminded of a picture I had seen that says, ‘Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle’. I love chatting about deep and meaningful things and being ministered to or ministering to others over a cup of ???(you guessed right…coffee!). Gone are the old days where ‘church’ only happens on a Sunday in a chapel! No way! For me, ‘church’ happens whilst meeting over a cup of coffee, any day of the week! yesterday I had coffee with a very dear friend, who too has fought a tough battle.  She too has no visible scars. If you had walked past the two of us at the coffee shop, you would not have noticed any outer evidence of our inner struggle. Yet, we have both been through a trauma, both different but both life changing. (She has lost a precious child.) Today we were able to be real, drink coffee, minister to one another and hug each other. Now, that was medicine for my heart.

As I have said, I have no visible outer scars from my attack, which is both a blessing and a curse. I am blessed enough to not have deep gashes like Alison Botha had after her attack, but I am also left with no physical evidence to serve as a reminder for people to know and remember what I had to endure, and to treat me accordingly. Quite likely people sometimes think, well she looks normal, so she must be normal. I’ll treat her like nothing ever happened. Nope, that’s not going to be helpful. Quite likely it just serves to make the person feel more alone. What is normal anyway?! Just because someone does not have visible scars does not mean they have not endured a momentous battle. My scars are on the inside.  I do however, keep doshing on the bio-oil of Gods love – and the scars are healing.

I have found that some folks have not known how to react or what to do or say to help me heal.  Often people think that to help you they have to do some grand gesture or act in some ridiculous manner! Obviously each person going through a trauma is different and wants to be treated accordingly. So my advice is to treat each situation as unique, and don’t put your version of the ‘normal’ treatment on anyone.  Better still, rather ask ‘How can I best support and be there for you?…yes, it’s as simple as that! For me, I wanted and needed the comfort of gentle physical touch after my trauma. I valued a tender kiss on the forehead, my hair being stroked and a gentle, reassuring hug was just what the doctor ordered (that and coffee).  Other women who have been raped may not want anyone to touch them but I needed and still need hugs, lots of hugs, because my love language is physical touch! There is such a healing quality about hugs. Sometimes people need to talk less and hug more. You can say so much with a hug!

So often well intentioned folks ‘TELL’ me what I should or should not be doing, or even how I should be feeling, as if they have been through the same trauma.  What they don’t realise is that, when someone has gone through a trauma, we do not want advice.  All I want is to be HEARD!…and hugged ….. and to drink coffee.  When I want advice, I will ask for it, and then I will welcome it, appreciate it and value it.

So remember, you never know what the person you are dealing with has gone through. They may not have visible scars but it is quite likely they too are going through a battle of some sort. Always show kindness! You never know if the other person needs it a lot more than you realise.

Warrior Women

Enjoy your weekend



ps. Here is my friend, Janine’s blog. It is definitely worth a read!